Top Ten Surprises Awaiting John McCain at - We Op-Ed - A Community for Political News and Civilized Debate
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Top Ten Surprises Awaiting John McCain at

It is okay to have a president of the United States of America who does not know how to drive. But to have one that does not know how to use the internet? Now that is a disaster in the making- for the country as well as the president.

What is surprising is that John McCain was still a young 70 year-old man when Al Gore, then a colleague of his in the senate, invented the internet.

Accepted, he got scared like many when told at the early years of the internet that you must know Html codes to be functional. Being that McCain was terrible in math and graduated 894 out of 899 in his class at the U.S. Naval Academy, you can understand why he chose to give the internet a pass.

However, one would have thought that when he sent the very last telegram before the service was discontinued worldwide, he would have mustered the courage to learn how to use the internet.

As a public service and my contribution to the McCain campaign, I present to John McCain the top ten surprises that await him when he enters the world of the internet and googles himself.

1.) His Vice president has been chosen by Dick Cheney. His name will be leaked to the press by the Chief of Staff of the Vice President as soon as it is declassified by the president.
2.) His first wife, a former model, Carol Sheep, is writing a blog from Virginia Beach. In her blog, she talks about how John McCain left her for a rich young teacher after she had an accident that disfigured her.
3.) His black child is begging on his Facebook page for a 50 Cent endorsed bling bling for Christmas.
4.) He bought his Straight Talk Express bus on the recommendation of an Anger Management specialist after he punched his opponent in the face at a Town Hall meeting for asking what dealer supplies his wife, Cindy, with drugs. The unlucky man was referring to Viagra but instead he used a generic name, drugs, just to be polite.
5.) He participated in the 1770 Olympic as a star boxer representing the Thirteen colonies.
6.) An email has been waiting for him in his mail box. The email is from Charles Keating (III) who now resides in Nigeria. He wants to transfer a sum of $100 million which is proceeds from Lincoln Savings and Loans Association offshore account. Mr. Keatings is willing to share the money 50-50 with John McCain if only the Arizona senator sends the wife’s account number.
7.) Ross Perot while talking about how he helped McCain’s first wife, Carol, with medical bills following her accident, wrote this on his MySpace page: “After John McCain came home, Carol walked with a limp. So John threw her over for a poster girl with big money from Arizona and the rest is history.”
8.) 40 million unemployed Americans without medical insurance have gone to to apply for the post of the U.S. Ambassador to Belarus which McCain offered Senator Gramm and it was declined.
9.) Martin Luther King Jr. wrote a note on his Facebook Funwall thanking McCain for opposing the creation of Martin Luther King Jr. Day. It has been there since 1983.
10.) Like his father and grandfather, Panama has promoted him from a captain into a full admiral. On November 6 2008, Panama will have a special election where they will name McCain the president of Panama.

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Comment by The Bake Show on July 22, 2008 at 2:51pm
McCain receives a Facebook Mafia Wars invitation from Obama.

I think McCain could figure out the internet in three months before November and in fact, in need of some PR, he should totally do that. I mean the internet is not that hard to figure out. Then in the debate he could try to stump Obama on some frustrating technological issue for the avg. American, like getting kicked off wireless signals...


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